I was happy until I got sick

Many things going on in my life

There's the reoccurring desire to have my tac killed

There's the on going stupidity of the system ... apparently I am now a leader of a mutiny -- with a capital M -- Viva la revolution!

I dunno, I'm wrecked, my body is losing the war right now and I feel like I have a deficit of energy and I'm trying to suck some in but I can't cause there's none around to suck in....

Christmas dinner the corps was forbidden the usual things, don't lift the tables, don't smoke on the apron ... well we got nailed for the latter. I take that back, the firties and the CSMs and the 1SGs got their privies pulled. Its not mass punishment, its mass leadership, whatever. 3rd reg also got in trouble, they have a directive put out by their RTO saying how if they were out on the apron smoking they should write themselves up. A3's tac added to it by making the PLs going around to each person and ask if they were. We should have mass orders telling us to turn ourselves in for crimes and have our PLs regularly ask what regs we've broken, geez.

It made me feel good seeing everyone out there, I remember smiling to Pete about the "civil disobedience" of the corps. Just generally being out there with the A3 boys made me happy, the holidays are usually a sad time for me.

I surprised myself the other day. Well, first I'd like to talk about how much I like this season just because you can give people stuff whenever you feel like it, it's just a general atmosphere. Seeing Pete with his Robotech cardboard thingy made my week. What surprised me was something that I said that I don't usually say and didn't consciously think to say. When we returned to his room to see his expression, I kissed his head and told him I love him. Not part of my usual phrases, I think it's progress for me, progress in being more open with people and what I feel.

OK I'm sick ... I'm going to give up ...