January 29, 2002

Drama

I can't drop it because my roommate won't drop it. It, is this whole ordeal with 500th night and the other affirmations that are associated with it. I'll admit, I do have a bit of fascination with the behaviors people have been exhibiting, but none the less I'm frustrated. It doesn't help to cry to those who already know how you feel and let it consume you!

So we go to mandatory breakfast (all weekday b-fasts and lunches are mandatory, we sit at assigned company tables where the lowest class sits at one end and the highest at the other), this is an example of neurosis in itself. My table commander (the highest ranking cadet at the table) is a girl, and she doesn't eat. The girl next to me is a vegetarian so she doesn't eat much either. Across from me is my roommate, who like most people, doesn't like the food but, more unhealthily, doesn't like to eat because the other girls don't eat that much. Me, eating at 700am gives me a stomachache (especially mess hall food) so I drink orange juice, Otherwise I'll eat what I can handle. The guys don't seem to mind getting the extra servings.

Where was I? Well, today my roommate was depressed (more that usual) and fretting over the trou incident. I was listening to the other end of the table at what our guy plebes were talking about, and found them to be talking about the same thing, from a different light. While keeping my roomies sob story to our table comm in the background I listen to what they had to say. Apparently, they could possibly get in trouble for respect, one of our male yuks was saying how it was cool and that he was with them, the other was not as excited, but unsure if they should get into trouble. The plebes thought it was funny that everyone was cheering for the girls, I decided to offer a different perspective. I turned to them and said sternly, "It better not have been any of you three who yelled 'there go two trou' out the window, cause I will beat the crap out of you." They looked at me seriously, as far as I could tell, and responded "Sergeant, it wasn't any of us... I hadn't heard of it until this morning." So I reply, "If you know, you'd better tell me because I'm going to beat the crap out of them." My table comm, seeing what I had started chimes in. I don't know, there's this was most girls around here scold, it's like a nagging mixed with a joke, that everyone at least once mistakes for a joke, especially the dense guys. So, the whole time she rants about how at a normal college they would be considered losers for their behavior (a valid point), they laugh. I am reminded about how at the banquet, the chick friend that my roomie is fighting with turned around and told my roomie that if she wanted her nametag it was right there, and my roomie genuinely laughed. Seeing this I turned and told her, "I don't think that was a joke." So the plebes' reaction, though wrong, was not without precedent. Note: my roomie has restricted conversation to the head of the table.

As we walk back to our room she tells me about how talking to them (the way I did) just feeds into their hate for cadet girls and that I shouldn't do it. My response is well, you can't let it consume you, sure it sucks and its not acceptable behavior, but you can't change it just crying to your mom. I might get laughed at (but by their expressions when I talked to them I don't think that will happen, maybe I related to them better) but at least its out there, at least they know it bothers someone, cause like you say all the other guys encourage it (that's a generalization). She's a great girl and everything but sometimes ....

I investigated this matter further, talking to my friend Jason who is the first sergeant, and Jen the other cow girl in the company. Jason gathered the plebes and yelled at them this morning, he has a good gentlemanly perspective and the matter is being looked into for punishment. Even my Tac, who I don't hate, but I don't agree with, has his part in it (of course my roommate says he just makes it worse as well, which is to a certain degree true, but at least he cares). Jason says he originally found out from his friend's fiance, who had some not so flattering stories to tell about cadets. Jen says that plebes in our company were yelling her name and was able to recognize a few. With this new found information I mentioned to our reliable yuk at the table at lunch, that they had to have a meeting with the Tac, sparking up the conversation again. From the twisted perspective of some guys, it is a from of compliment to be cheered for the way they did. Ok, so what about the trou incident? "It wasn't me who said it sergeant, but it was wrong." Whether he truly meant it or not I won't know, but at least he had to say it.

Being a girl here is more emotionally trying than guys realize. It's even more trying than I can fully realize. I've spent all of my cadet career fearing and hating cadet girls, so I can understand to a certain point where the guys are coming from. The whole difference between guys and girls is mind boggling to me, I'll continue to dwell in my parallel reality, while checking in every once in a while for a new story.