I think I've figured out what my problem is.

this isn't my dream

i dont care, i just dont care, this isnt what i want,

its what ive settled with and every other explaination is just me coping with it

im not a bad person

thats why i cry thats why it hurts thats why i try

im not a bad person

this just isnt what i want

i cant force myself to accept it, i cant force myself to live a lie

but im not a bad person

im competent, intelligent

im not worthless

you were so caught up with the fact they were telling you that you could

that you never stopped to wonder whether or not you should

thats it isnt it

you want people to think you have a worth

doing this

people said you had a value, you had potential

you came thinking that in the end you would be taking care of people as a doctor

when you saw that you wouldnt you should have left

you stay .... you stay

you stay for other people

cause people tell you they need you, they give you a value, they are proud of you

cause you can do this

and you'll miss some people too

and now, you fear,

you fear all the stuff that you committed yourself to in staying

you fear the uncertainty of your future