So I'm immature, indecisive, and unhappy. I'm from a sheltered, "not quite rich," atypical family, and never really realized it. I'm spoiled because I believe that I should want to do my job instead of doing something and being happy because I have a job even though I have no interest in it. I would prefer to live idealistically in a realist world to the point where I would happily create my own reality.

More of the same

My whole time here I've been concerned with my survival as a human. I kept my sanity though bonds I built with other people those are what kept me here. While I care about my survival as a human, I care very little about my survival about a cadet. To say that I dig my own hole is incorrect. I don't take action negatively, my inaction causes my borderline performance.

I'm not making this decision, none of this interests me enough to take an active role -- though I take responsibility for the fact that the situation is the way it is, that is most definitely my fault...

So I've rationalized and justified myself to this point and knowing this I still can't come to a conclusion about whether I needed to get to this point or not ... My indecisive nature leads me to believe I needed to stay here until I realized that I probably shouldn't have, then once realizing that, I should move on to the next endeavor.

I don't think that the is anything wrong with that either ... more of what I learned from my family ... my dad's not a decisive person. An example is how he was a practicing Chiropractor for a little while, got disillusioned, and then went into computer consulting until just recently, now he's a Chiropractor again. My mom thinks we're poor because my dad only makes 75K a year starting instead of the +150K a year he was making. He's not in a leadership position, he didn't know what he was doing at 21. Granted he could have done better, but -- I'm justifying again...