I just want to be left alone

I think this can be attributed to my upbringing. I don't understand or respond to this world of punishment and privilege. Because I fail out of a MIAD or don't do well in classes they take away my privilege to leave. But my ability to leave has nothing to do with me failing out of Airborne or getting cruddy grades. I failed out of Airborne school 'cause I didn't want to go and my grades suck because I don't put a high value on achieving in my classes, and maintaining my sanity involves a lot more time than I have for activities and West Point business. So by taking away my privileges they aren't reinforcing a desire to do better, just giving me another reason to distract myself from this reality.

My ecology thought for the day: people are horrible. Every species finds an equlibrium w/ their environment and people will eventually as well. We just take so much to reach it. Our impact, while it may not destroy the world, effects countless species and reshapes the earth.

I feel so numb. Out of my bitterness of my situation, I have stopped caring so much about everything else. I feel so hollow.