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I can't shake, and perhaps don't want to shake the feeling of loss. It is a funny thought, that someone would want to be stuck in sadness. Maybe I feel that my sadness will eventually undo the cause of sadness. Perhaps I feel my sadness is a way to honor what I have lost. In my stories. my heroes and heroines often must part, finding their way back once the task is complete and their lives can cross again. I asked the question once "does love only have to end in death?" Should I fear the sorrow of parting and just refuse to feel? I don't want that, that much I know.
We are not completely parted, my sweetest friend. My God does that make me cry. My sweetest friend, I don't want that to ever change. And yet, I want this pain to go away. I don't want to make promises because the future is unwritten until it is the present. This gentle, ridiculous love, I can distract myself from it with dreams and games, but can I make it fade forever? Do I want it to fade forever? Realistically I can only say that time will tell. All I can do is flounder around in the present.